Delicious Placebo

- WTF is up with short sleeved turtleneck sweaters??  If its cold wouldn’t you want sleeves?  Don’t even get me started on sleeveless sweaters.. that’s just lunacy.

- I went to the psych today and spun the magical wheel of medicine and today it landed on Remeron (mirtazapine).  It’s not technically a tricicylic, it’s a tetracyclic.  I’m hoping that means I wont have quite the same weight gain reaction that I did with Nortriptyline (about a pound a day, ug!).  The doc did not address this side effect, despite my persistent questions.  He did, however, refuse to prescribe Adderall to counteract the sedating effects of the Remeron.  We’ll see what happens (as usual).  This is my last resort before I try going down the MAOI road.

- I see the shoulder doctor on Thursday.  Yay!  I get to have an MRI and all the other fun stuff they do to see inside your joints.  I will be sooooo happy if they can fix me so that I can do all the things I used to do.  I really miss being able to scratch my left arm with my right.

I can give you a list many pages long with all of the things that I want to do.  This drove my dad crazy when I was a kid because I wanted to do everything, but never stuck to anything for very long.  I took gymnastics classes, played the piano, flute, and violin.  I learned to ride a unicycle (and like a bicycle, you never forget), I went to summer camp almost every year to do stuff like canoing and camping.

Thing is, I never stuck with anything.  The only constant in my life from childhood on was my interest in computers.  That one worked out for me.  I still want to learn to play the piano, play guitar.. and now.. I want to write a book.  Yea, I can’t even write a two page essay without giving up (unless I had to for school).  So how do I do it?  Ghost writer?  Sheer determination?  It would be biographical so there’s no lack of material to write about.  I wouldn’t even know where to begin.