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Archive for September, 2006

*cough* *hack*

September 27th, 2006 | Category: Uncategorized

Some kind of nasty bug has crawled into my chest and it won’t leave me alone.  It won’t let me sleep and it makes my everything hurt because of all the coughing.  It is teh suck.

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Tech Jones

September 21st, 2006 | Category: Uncategorized

I need a new computer.  Ok really, I want a new one, not really need.  The one I have is technicaly not mine though.  It belongs to my ex.  I told him I would give it back once I got my own but that just has not happened.  I get tech envy very easily and since got a new video card for his birthday, I just look at his screen at all the pretty colors and want a new machine so bad.  Naturaly, I can’t buy one since I am jobless.  So I figure if I can get 100 people to each give me $10, I can buy it.  I don’t have that many friends, but I probably do know that many people.
What are the odds I would succeed?  If I made a list of people I know, and got it up to 100, do you think they would each give me ten bucks?

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Sammiches – Redux

September 21st, 2006 | Category: Uncategorized

I can’t believe so many people commented on that last post.  I love having wacky friends.  So now, to clarify, I like the sammiches this way:
Wheat bread (the big pieces, mmm), Lots of Mayonaise, Chedar Cheese (2 slices), and Tomato (2 slices) and a little salt.  And I have to have a pickle on the side.  One of the big cold dill pickles.  Mmmm.  Thats how I like’em

Thank you Chaos for reminding me how much I enjoy pumpernickle.  I got some at the store today and some salami to go on it.  Or between it.. you know what I mean.

Well today is supposed to be filled with all of the work I have been too lazy to do the rest of the week.  I spent Monday playing video games all day.  Tuesday I worked, then played video games again.  Wednesday we have the kids and I did job searching.  So now I have a weeks worth of house stuff to catch up on (laundry, cleaning).  Tomorrow I work again and pick up for the weekend.  Of course, I only work for a few hours a day but when you add in driving time and getting ready time, it eats up about 5 hours of my day.  I know, poor me right?  I know I used to do this stuff when I worked 45 hours a week.  How did I do it?  Oh that’s right I couldn’t deal with it and that’s why I had a “breakdown.” 
I’m not going to get started on that subject though, because that is a whole entry by itself. 

Ok last few thoughts.  I will see you at faire on the 1st.  Make sure you call me or come find me at the Dragon Inn between 11 and Noon.  you are such a sweetie.  I’ll share my sammich with you any day.  You need to tell me when you are coming to faire, and you need to come soon and often!  HEY SINGLE LADIES!  This guy is a big geek like the rest of us, and really nice to boot.  So when he comes to faire with me make sure you say hi.  He is shy so don’t let him get away with not talking to you. 
And , the plan for the weekend is same as usual unless there is something I don’t know about.  You can try on the corset tomorrow to be sure we have a full outfit that you can wear which will not have you thrown in jail for indecent exposure. 

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True Love

September 20th, 2006 | Category: Uncategorized

In case anyone didnt know….
I’m in love with cheese sammiches

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What’s Worse?

September 06th, 2006 | Category: Uncategorized
Sometimes the cure is worse than the disease.  Or the treatment, in some cases.  That’s how I feel right now about medication.  I would liken it to getting chemo treatments.  I have not had it before, and I am in no way saying that what I am going through sucks as much as chemo does.  What I am saying though is that my medication feels like it is making my quality of life worse than my illness does.  The exception to this is that, they say, I could go back to being “critical” without the meds.  So where does that leave me? 
I hate taking them but I always have just because I knew it was what I was supposed to do.  At first, it didn’t matter much because I never even noticed the effects they had.  After all the shyte recently with doctors and hospitals, I am more acutely aware of exactly what the meds to do me, and for me.  I can tell when I have missed a dose.  I can also tell when I take my double does exactly when it starts to work, because I feel like the energy just saps right out of me.  The other day I was in a panic so I took one of my “as needed” meds and all I can say is that I don’t remember the drive home that morning.  My beloved had to keep me awake, I was tottaly out of it.

This all brings about the big question; how to you weigh the risks and benefits of saying on vs. going off medication?

Being medicated makes me feel like a zombie.  I am tired all the time, I want to eat everything in sight, I sleep half the day, I don’t care about much, I don’t feel much, and I am mostly apathetic about sex.  Granted these side effects vary depending on which meds I’m on so I’m only talking about my current cocktail.

Being unmedicated means… well I can’t remember anymore what it’s like.  I remember crying a lot and never wanting to get out of bed but honestly, I feel that way now.  I still cry every day.  I still want to sleep all the time and I don’t like leaving the house.  Other than sedating me, what help are they?  Best I can say now is that if I have an episode where I am worried about going off the deep end, I can take a pill and it will knock me out so that hopefully when I wake up I will feel less like jumping off a bridge.  Those thoughts havent even come up lately.  Lately, its just a lot of doom and gloom but not so much with the bridge jumping. 

So what good are they???

I would love to try some alternative stuff but I can just see me now coming home from the “healer” with my instructions and telling Lumpy that I need to drink wheat grass for the next week.

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